Today I met with the Strategy Center in LA. It felt good to be around people who think critically in the same way I do. I almost cried when one of the members of the strategy center spoke.

At the end of the conversation, I thanked her for saying what she said because I needed to hear it. I told her how lately I’ve been feeling like I’m being conditioned to deplete, impede, or blanket my analysis/comprehension of my environment so that I can survive in this space.

Each organization has an agenda. To what extent am I being conditioned into a politicized being that ontologically contradicts my activist subjectivity? Why am I choosing to accept this? What does it mean if I walk away from this?

This will always be a political battle.

I help build counter-hegemonic movements.

I just threw up in the middle of a phone call with a UCLA grad student. I was like, “Totally getcha. Prop 8 blah blah equality activism yeah yeah. Hold on.”

*Throws up*

“uhhhh so yeah equality activism yeah yeah. Let’s meet next week.”

I feel pretty unstoppable right now even though I’m pretty sick to my stomach. Hahahaha.

END GOOD MOMENT.

Next meeting in 15 minutes. Then home. Thank Glob.

I’m not going to stop fighting for same-sex marriage no matter how much I critique the institutionalization of it and the manifestation of a white homonormative consumerist world.

Whhhhhhhhy am I not going to stop fighting?
Because the reality is that illegalization of same-sex marriage is still homophobic and transphobic. And the reality is that four states still are facing this shit at the ballot box this year. The reality is that I will not stand aside and let homophobia and transphobia slip by because of how I critique our movement. I will never be passive. I am fighter.

And I always put up a good fight.